Monday, September 3, 2012

Deep Dark Depths of a Bottomless Pit

Handbags. They sit on a shelf of my closet. They are pretty, they are stylish. They are bulky and well worn. They come in all shapes and all sizes.  They are in fashion, they are out of fashion (but if I wait long enough), will no doubt be in fashion again. Even those impractical compact clutch ones.

Gone are the days (thank goodness!) when the handbag needed to be repacked each night in order to match the shoes, which needed to match the outfit for the next day.  Such turmoil when the weather changed unexpectedly and caused wardrobe malfunction. Yes! We know the real meaning of wardrobe malfunction!

Celebrate the arrival of the ‘hold all’ - and no kidding, they hold all, and more.  They don’t need to be a particular color, size or shape.  They don’t have to match - anything. They can just be. Sitting on the front seat of the car, on the floor, balancing on a counter top or hanging on their very own special hook strategically placed behind restroom doors!

If we are what we eat (drats!), and become like those we associate with, have you ever stopped to wonder what the contents of our handbags say about us? What secrets do they keep? 

Let's delve into the deep dark depths of mine.
  • Wallet, now a different color from the bag, in an attempt to make it easier to find in Bottomless Pit. 
  • Two pairs of reading glasses. Different strengths, one pair which doesn't help my vision at all (Am I carrying one for a friend just in case?) Correction, make that three pairs.  Yet another strength.
  • Chapstick - in every pocket. 
  • A sympathy card I've forgotten to mail :(
  • Orbit whitening gum - freshens breath as it whitens. Multitasking at its best.
  • Makeup pouch - more chapstick, lipgloss, blush, foundation touch-up, lash lengthening mascara and eyeliner. 
  • Kleenex
  • A few crumpled receipts - gas station, health food store, certified mail tracking slip, Indian restaurant.
  • A CD I've been wanting to play in my car
  • Small cosmetic bag containing dental floss, tweezer, nail file, yet another chapstick, antacid tablets and headache pills for emergency situations. 
  • A book - Return to Peyton Place. It looks well worn. I've yet to read one page.
  • Hand lotion 
  • Two pens.
  • Notebook
  • Smart phone
  • Keys 
  • Sunglasses
Is this what we can conclude about me? I have poor vision (thanks to the 'aging thing' again), I like white teeth and a fresh breath, enjoy spicy food which creates a need for antacid, drive a car, squint in bright sunlight, have intentions to read, must constantly moisturize my lips and hands, can be tearful, enjoy music, come prepared for emergencies, need to make notes as the memory is not as good as it used to be.

Oh, and that I have one shoulder higher than the other, thanks to the weight of Bottomless Pit.  

What does your handbag say about you? Turn it upside down. Go on, I dare you.