Tuesday, April 3, 2012

And the Magic Number is .........

I recently celebrated, if one can call it that, the beginning of another trip around the sun, also known as my birthday.

I'm not a lover of birthdays. At all. I'm uncomfortable being the center of attention, being showered with gifts and being forced to face the reality that I'm one year older.

In my mind, you see, I'm 38. Not almost 39. Not 38¼. Just plain old 38. If age is just a number, I can choose anyone I want, right? (Denial. Not just a river in Egypt).

Welcome to my double life; and the disconnect.

Perhaps you'll identify.  The brain saying one thing, the body saying another.  In my case, the latter speaks volumes - especially when I look in the mirror and a stranger looks back at me!

Shriek! Who are YOU and what have you done with ME!?

People will say, "You don't look your age". What do they mean by that exactly?  I've yet to figure it out.

My checkbook, on the other hand, has figured out that little ol' me has contributed to the billion dollar industry of anti-aging creams, incredible-lift foundations, mineral make up and under eye concealer, and yet there is no evidence of  the  flawless, dewy, line-less, photo ready, ageless complexion that clever advertising would have me believe I will have.  Has it stopped me from perpetually adamantly announcing to the world, that regardless of my year of birth, I am eternally 38?   That would be uh, no!

Until my recent epiphany.

It occurred to me that if I continue to say I'm 38, which I'm not, it may illicit a reaction (albeit not vocally) of  'oh, poor thing - she must have lived a really hard life'. If, on the other hand, I fast forward my age to say, 59, the reaction (hopefully!) will be 'wow, she looks really good for her age'. (Shhh, don't tell a soul, I'm feeling a sudden rush of years coming on).
 
When the big 5O was looming on the horizon, my family and friends were more than a little surprised to learn that although I would celebrate  it, it would not be until I was considerably older, say 63. If I didn't feel my age, why should I have to celebrate (that word again) something that felt so foreign.

And that's when it dawned on me. Now that I'm '59', I'm only a few years away from 63, which means I have a whole lot of living to catch up on. 

What's that I hear? Oh, L.I.F.E's calling .... just a minute, I'll be right there!